Finau Hafoka graduated from BYU–Hawaii in 1987 with a degree in social work. Originally from Tonga, he joined the Church as a teenager in New Zealand–and was disowned for it. After serving as a school counselor, bishop, stake president, mission president, and Laie Hawaii Temple president, Hafoka now serves as a chaplain at BYUH. His story is one of sacrifice, faith, and a family made whole.
A Pivotal Play
Finau Hafoka was born and raised in Tonga. When he was 13, Hafoka left his family and moved to Auckland, New Zealand, to live with his uncle and go to school.
In Auckland, Hafoka found a tight group of friends who played sports together during and after school. Near the end of his senior year, one of those friends invited him to play basketball at his church. Hafoka agreed.
“After church, I realized, oh, this is a Mormon church,” Hafoka said.
There were prayers before the games, and Hafoka later learned it was the youth’s weekly mutual night. He enjoyed it and kept coming back. Then one night, his friends told Hafoka that two young men wanted to talk to him before they could play.
“As I turned, there were missionaries,” Hafoka said.
Elder Taniela Fiefia of Salt Lake City Utah and his companion began teaching Hafoka. He was baptized shortly before he graduated from high school. A simple invitation from a friend had changed the course of his life.
Paper and Patience
But Hafoka’s new faith came at a cost. His family did not share his joy.
“They didn’t like it. In fact, they disowned me,” Hafoka said. “They said, ‘You’re done with us. You’re no longer part of the family.’”
Hafoka kept writing to his parents in Tonga anyway. No replies came, but Hafoka knew the letters were reaching home, and he never stopped.
As graduation approached, the missionaries asked Hafoka about his plans. Hafoka told them he wanted to keep studying.
“Would you like to go to BYU–Hawaii?” they asked.
“I never thought of it, never heard of BYU–Hawaii,” Hafoka recalled. “So I said, ‘Sure.’”
Hafoka applied and, to his surprise, was accepted. The missionaries told him it would be a good fit–a spiritual place for a new member of the Church.
“I trusted the missionaries, so I followed their advice,” Hafoka said. “And when I came here, sure enough, I said, ‘Yep, I’m glad I followed their advice.’”
Love By The Book
School had its challenges. English was Hafoka’s second language, and he changed majors twice, starting in physical science before finding his place in social work. Hafoka found the person he would marry, too. One day, sitting with friends and classmates, Hafoka noticed a young woman stop to talk with one of them. When she walked away, he asked for her name.
“She got my attention,” Hafoka said. “I said, ‘Oh, I’m going to pursue her.”
Not long after, Hafoka saw her in the library and sat down next to her.
“That’s where we met for the first time, in the library,” Hafoka said. “And we started dating; the rest was history.”
This year, Hafoka and his wife, Lucy, also a BYU–Hawaii alumna, celebrated 45 years of marriage.
Conditions of the Heart
Before they could marry, there was a question to settle. Hafoka hadn’t served a full-time mission, which was expected of young men before marriage. So, his bishop, Alan Uyehara, sent him to stake President Eric Shumway, who would later become president of BYU–Hawaii.
“Let’s fast this coming Sunday,” President Shumway told Hafoka. “Then you come back the following week, and we’ll talk.”
Hafoka returned a week later, ready to accept any answer, even if it meant putting off the marriage he had hoped for.
“I said, ‘President, I am ready. Whatever your counsel is, I’ll do it. Serve a mission? Yes, I’ll go," Hafoka remembered. “I have a feeling that you should get married in the temple,” President Shumway told him.
Then came two conditions: prepare every one of his children to serve missions, and later, serve a mission with his wife.
“Of course, I was so happy,” Hafoka said. “So, I made that promise. ‘Yes, President, I’ll do that.’”
Hafoka and Lucy were married in the Laie Hawaii Temple. That promise would guide their family for the next 40 years.
Those unanswered letters got their answer after all. When Hafoka graduated in social work in 1987, his parents traveled to BYU–Hawaii for the ceremony. While they were there, the same parents who had once disowned him for joining the Church were taught the gospel and baptized. The faith that had divided the family now brought it back together.
School of Thought
After graduation, with both families in Hawaii, the couple felt the Laie community was the best place to raise children. They lived with Lucy’s parents in Hauula for about a year, then settled in Kahuku.
Around 1990, Hafoka worked at Kahuku Elementary School under principal Frank Kalama, while Lucy worked at Laie Elementary School alongside Kalama’s wife, Gladys. Kalama saw potential in Hafoka and encouraged him to continue to graduate school.
Hafoka earned a Master of Science degree in Counseling Psychology (MSCP), which opened a long career as a School Counselor.He served students at Kahuku Elementary and Laie Elementary for 10 years, then spent the last 18 years of his career at Kahuku High School.
Like Father, Like Daughter
Hafoka and Lucy had five children: three sons followed by two daughters. Their sons served in Nicaragua, Alaska and California, and their older daughter in Hamilton New Zealand. One attended BYU–Hawaii and 4 attended BYU Provo.
Their youngest daughter had a plan of her own. After high school, she spent a year at BYU and promised to come home, then serve. When she returned, Hafoka asked if she was ready.
“She said, ‘No.’ I said, ‘What? No?’” Hafoka recalled. “She said, ‘I dated a returned missionary, and we’re going to get married in the temple.’”
Hafoka and Lucy talked it over at length. Then Lucy pointed out that Hafoka had married in the temple without serving a mission, too.
“We said, ‘You know what? I think she’s right," Hafoka said.
They gave their daughter their blessing–the same grace President Shumway had once shown a young student.
Today, all five children were married in the temple and serve in Church leadership, including two sons called as bishops. The Hafokas now have 19 grandchildren, and last month their oldest grandson left to serve a mission in New Zealand, the country where his grandfather first met the missionaries.
“To me, that’s the most important accomplishment my wife and I have,” Hafoka said. “People. My family, my children.”
A Man of His Word
In 2018, the couple were called to preside over the Papua New Guinea Port Moresby Mission. On their way to the Missionary Training Center in Provo, the Hafokas stopped to visit Eric Shumway, by then retired in Utah. Decades later, Hafoka could tell him the promise had been kept.
“We reported to him our agreement, our promises,” Hafoka said, “that we were on our way to the MTC to go and serve.”
They were due home in June 2021. That January, a new call came: to serve as president and matron of the Laie Hawaii Temple, the same temple where they had been married decades earlier. Hafoka retired from education to accept it.
Heaven Knows When
By then, Hafoka had also served as a bishop and a stake president. When his time in the temple ended, people assumed Hafoka was finished.
“Someone would say, ‘I think we’re done. That’s it," Hafoka said. “But for me, there’s just one more piece, and that is to give back to this place.”
In December 2024, Hafoka began serving as a chaplain at BYU–Hawaii. The role was meant to be temporary.
“I have no intention of finishing. I will continue,” Hafoka said. “Whether it’s going to be five years, seven, 10, whatever the Lord needs.”
Hafoka’s hope is simple.
“Hopefully I can help one student. Just one. Two, maybe,” Hafoka said. “But just one, I think that would be great for me.”
Souls Over Systems
Looking back, Hafoka says his social work training gave him a foundation he has used as a husband, father, counselor and Church leader.
“Procedures are important. Goals are set to accomplish,” Hafoka added. “But to me, the most important thing is people, and the relationship you have with them.”
Hafoka sees the same pattern in the gospel, where following the Savior means building relationships with those around you.
“We believe in a loving God, and that we are His disciples,” Hafoka said.
“Wherever I go, in whatever capacity I serve in the Church, I apply the same principles,” Hafoka said. “And it worked for me.”
Kingdom Come
Hafoka understands that students are focused on graduating and new alumni on finding jobs. But he believes those things follow when priorities are in order. Hafoka points to Matthew 6:33: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
“It’s not going to be given just like that,” Hafoka said. “It’s not a secret, and it’s not reserved for certain people. It’s available for anyone who is willing to pay a small price.”
Hafoka added one more piece of advice: use the temple.
“Without the temple here, none of these places would be here,” Hafoka said.
For students, faculty and employees alike, Hafoka believes the temple is the focus.
“Here, it’s just 10 minutes, and you’re there in His house,” Hafoka said. “You’ll receive direction, you’ll receive answers, you’ll receive power and strength to help you deal with whatever challenges you face.”
Badge of Honor
“There are not enough words to explain how this special place has blessed us,” Hafoka said.
Hafoka can’t imagine his life without it.
“If I didn’t come to BYU–Hawaii, I have no idea what would happen to my life,” Hafoka said. “I’m not sure I would marry the same person or raise my family the same way. I don’t think I would be blessed the same.”
For the young convert who once arrived cut off from his family, serving as a chaplain is his way of saying thank you.
“I am forever grateful. That’s why I wear this badge proudly and honorably,” Hafoka said. “I’ll do whatever I can to help, just to express my gratitude. I hope I can do better each day.”